Mondays

so its been a while since ive last updated. not too much new happening, at least, that i can talk about without the possibility of people reading it, ha. not much of a weekend this weekend. i worked saturday as my weekend day. and was here all by myself in the office. it was kinda nice and quiet. i got a bunch of phone calls done so i dont have to do quite so many today and will hopefully have more time to just watch gilmore girls and wait for call backs. i dunno what id do with out that site, id be so freaking bored. but yeah, then i had about 2 hours at home after work then i went out again to go see tin bangs. usual standard show but totally worth going. i just hope they never play that venue again. it creeped me out with all the dolls hanging everywhere. so morbid. the 3 things that scare me and freak me out are needles, clowns, and dolls. sounds crazy, but it is the way it is. so i didnt stay much longer once the show was done. just said goodbye and went home. though the lead singer talked to me which i was a dork and didnt say much, though my ear was completely blocked up so i couldnt hear too well. today ashley and i are going to see the beatles movie help! (working 9.30-6). my mum said she saw it when it originally went in theatres and was good, but weird. from the write up i read on it it looked good so hopefully ill like it. then tomorrows my only semi-quiet night so hopefully ill be able to be home in my pjs and watch house and entourage. wednesday i have to do laundry then thursday foo fighters, VIP style and packing. friday home for the first time in a month. the longest ive gone without going home...EVER. theres a part of me that doesnt want to leave on friday. not that id actually really miss anything since its a quiet weekend here but yeah. im stuck between the 2 cities. once i get comfortable i wont be able to leave montreal either.

Sigh...

myspace is being really slow right now and i cant be bothered to keep working. im kinda in a mood where i just want to shut people out. i hate the feeling when people you thought were friends just suddenly change and i feel like im being ignored. so when that happens i just tend to push the people that i think dont like me away and ignore them. i hate feeling this way cause it just sucks big time and brings me down. if it wasnt for him and things going so well with him id be so sad.

Wishing...

i wish, with all my heart, that i could have him. hes perfect.
*sigh*

Lars and the Real Girl

another day of being bored and waiting to call bands. thankfully i only have one city left to book, though im not looking forward to the motivating part. this weekend was pretty scary. my cat was badly attacked by a raccoon last sunday night and had to have a huge operation on monday. he wasnt leaving my room much and apart from when my dad would take him downstairs he wouldnt go down there. it was getting pretty bad and we werent sure if he was going to get better or worse. then suddenly sunday of this week he woke up and was like a whole new cat. he came downstairs when i was making my lunch before taking the train back to toronto and i dont think ive ever been that happy in my entire life when i saw him downstairs. very thankful hes getting better, just hope he keeps going for a long while. anyway, went to see lars and the real girl last night. it was pretty much one of the greatest movies of all time. its right up there with back to the future, yet a completely different style of movie. ryan gosling is awesome. it must be seen by everyone. the only thing was it made me really i had some one. him, in particular. i hate being alone...anyway, kinda another lonely day. i hate it when you feel like people only talk to you to borrow things. people just suddenly shift and arent the same with you and when i feel like people dont like me anymore, weather they do or not, i just push them away as much as i can.

Invisible?

so im taking a break from going through votes. ive been stuck on this one damn page for an hour, its never ending. im not exactly in the best of moods today. i feel like ive got an invisibility switch turned on somewhere because im feeling pretty invisible/sad. i hate it when you feel like you have friends you used to do everything with, then they suddenly start talking to other people then just completely ignore you. its kinda hard to feel like talking to them anymore. im supposed to go home tonight to montreal but im really not wanting to do that either. theres something going on this weekend and id get to see the guy i really like and i cant go to it, and i really wish i could. 9 out of the 10 times i talk to him im a complete dork and i like him so much i can barely talk to him or im just super shy whenever hes around. and i try and force myself to talk to him sometimes but its just not always easy. so now im wishing i could go to the thing so id have extra time to talk to him. or at least have the courage to tell him how i feel....what a day...

Lonely

im pretty bored right now waiting for a decent hour to call. im not complaining though, i love having the quiet wait time in the morning. being in the west is the best, and im loving the new hours. yesterday was halloween so there were some people on the subway in costumes. i saw a really creepy dude with a rubber mask on that covered his entire face, and he had this big giant black hoodie on. he really freaked me out just with how he was and everything. it was like something out of a horror movie with like killer clowns and dolls (both of which scare me, yes, even dolls). i felt like he was gonna pull a gun out or something just with how creepy he was. but luckily, he got off well before my stop. and that was my random halloween moment. now, its all about christmas. ive already seen one store on the way into the subway that is covered in christmas decorations already. they wasted no time once halloween was done. this year has gone by so fast its ridiculous. it seems like it should still be july. i feel like im gonna wake up suddenly and all this year will have been a huge dream. anyway, todays kinda a quiet day. feeling kinda lonely for no reason what so ever. as i was yesterday too, yesterday i was just feeling so lonely and useless for no reason for most of the day. then i just hear from him and just the simplest thing he says just makes everything better again. *sigh* i just wish...