Ships & Dip III Highlights

my highlights from the cruise. its a little longer than i expected it to be.sundaygot a good look around the ship then had lunch, right across from ed robertson. then met him later and got our pictures before we even left miami. saw joe from guster on the way to our muster station for the life boat drill. he remembered me like usual and gave a big smile and wave. unfortunately, apart from moments during his shows, thats all we really shared this year, unlike last year.:( katie and i had the alumni show sunday night (we were both ships and dips alumna!), so with the sail away show we had 2 barenaked ladies shows in one day. the alumni show was all request, and they had a bucket on stage they each took turns picking from. someone anonymously put one week in there, and everyone (including the band), booed so they skipped it. later, they pulled out another postcard and the same thing happened. since they already skipped one week, they debated skipping another postcard. in the end, kevin said "fuck it, its in the bucket", and it was played. mondaymanaged to have the courage to make it to another naked photo.first great big sea and guster show. managed to meet all the other gusterrhoids (for those who dont know, thats what brian decided guster fans were to be called) before the show. one of them, alex, being my next door cruise neighbour. went to see boothby, sean cullen, and harland williams after. unfortunately was way too tired to make it to harland. tuesdayplayed with turtles, sting rays (kissed, fed, held, was terrified by), went to hell, in grand cayman. saw carbon leaf on the lido deck and loved them. sean mccaan from grat big sea joined them for hanging johnny. caught a bit of sean from harvey dangers solo set and was pleasantly surprised again. wednesdayplayed with the dolphins (kissed them too) and parrots, took 45min approx to climb dunn river falls. jamaica was scary with the people trying to sell you stuff. they wouldnt give up. it started to rain as we finished the falls and we left after that because it was scary and we didnt want to shop. wednesday was pajama day so we changed after we had lunch back on the ship. katie and i got our naked photo, and as we were heading back to our room to put them there, bunnie was outside leaving a note and alex just came out of his. apparently people were invited to a guster soundcheck and bunnie and alex helped me get in, since i had barenaked ladies as my reason for going on the cruise. so we got front row for the sound check and got an extra show before their set that night (which we took over front row on joes side for). as we were waiting for gusters main show on wednesday night, katie and i were so hyper (thanks to all the guster) that we decided to go run around the track outside on the lido deck, then got ice cream. all in our pjs. then we played cards with jen and alex back in our spots while waiting for harvey danger and guster to start. got a few moments with joe during guster where we were singing along together, one time after he smiled and gave a little nod. after guster i went over to meet katie and jen in the black and red seas lounge and stopped by steven pages vanity project because that was still going. i got to hear their last song, then found katie and jen there too and we waited in line to meet steve. when i got to steve i introduced myself and said "hi, im katie". he said "yeah, i remember you, youre katie from toronto." so i was completely shocked that he remembered me and got a picture with him and he signed my boook. after that, i asked if i could request maybe katie for thursday nights show since my roommate and i are both katies. he said "yeah, sure", and i thanked him for that and for the cruise again, and he thanked us for coming again. then since we were too excited to sleep, katie and i ended up walking all the floors of the ship. we made it down to the 6th by 3am and stopped there. thursdayunfortunately the last full day. cant go wrong when you get to see your 3 faveourite bands plus joe solo all in the same day. my lovely guster group managed to help me get into the guster fan show thursday afternoon so we got front row for that again. i was on adams side this time for the first time ever (im always joes side). then the only time ive ever seen or heard of them switching sides, joe comes over to adams spot for one song, right in front of me. they also had brian live, via satellite which was a nice surprise. after guster we waited in line for joes show so we could get front row again (which we did). his show was nothing less than incredible and had tons of people on stage. that night was great big sea for a bit, then we went over to get to our spots for our main barenaked ladies show. we were second row steves side. about an hour and a bit into the show, i heard the familiar sound of "ill get the metronome", and couldnt believe steve had remembered my request. he looked right over and gave a "this songs for you nod". never in my life would i have thought that not only would steve remember me from 4 or so months ago, but remembered after meeting him at 2.30 in the morning to doing their set list to add maybe katie on for me. and theres a video on youtube where you can see him looking over and giving the nod before the song! after the barenaked ladies show was the all night jam session out on the lido deck. it lasted until 4.30am when we were nearly in miami again. then katie and i decided to stay up the rest of the night because we wouldnt have gotten much sleep otherwise. it seemed like a good idea in theory, but considering how sick i was (i managed to lose my voice that morning too), it probably wasnt the smartest idea. totally worth it though and i dont regret it for a second. as we were sitting out on the lido deck at one point, there werent many of us out there left but kevin was one of them. when he left and went to the elevators he yelled something at me which i still have no idea what he said, all i know is it sounded something like maybe katie. ill never know for sure though. fridayfriday was the sad day we had to get off the ship. we had our last gusterrhoid breakfast though everyone was super sick and barely awake. i left a bit earlier than everyone as i tried to get on the earlier flight. which i managed to do, thankfully.

Hope

so, something happened not too long ago that just gave me hope that i might actually get him. i cant say what on here because you never know whos reading, but, it totally made my day and was exactly what i needed. even though it wasnt that much, its a huge difference and i think i might actually have a chance.

Think happy thoughts...

ive been feeling really blah this week. today it went into just plan sad. i hate feeling like this and i have no idea why i even started to. i just cant pull myself out of this.
i should be happy now. ive got my cruise in 23 days and thats going to have my 3 favourite bands there. and joes going to be playing again. not to mention the fact that ill get to see him again....for a whole week. i just cant do it.
i just feel like the people who are supposed to be friends just dont even care if im around or not and apart from a select few (thankfully hes included in that select few....yet that still somehow, doesnt make me feel any better), i just feel so invisible and that no one could care less if i were here or not. and i hate feeling like that and it just brings me down so much that even the things that should make me happy (like yesterdays moment, despite the fact that im still a complete dork with him), didnt.
blah....i just need to curl up into a ball and not exist until my crusise. *sigh*

It's simple, so says the captain

i wish i had the courage to tell him how i feel...*sigh*

Fate Part 2

so this weekend was a pretty quiet one for me. i needed it and knew i would because it will be the last one for a while, so i took it while i had it. i caught up on my dvds and cleaning and am now watching dead like me. for the first 2 episodes i was kinda undecided. but then once the 3rd one hit i was hooked and havent been able to stop watching.
it deals a lot with fate and everything that comes with it. how no matter what you do you can stop someones death, etc.
i never was big into fate until i met joe the way i did in florida in january. i flew in on west jet on the day before my cruise to avoid any weather troubles (which i did because my dad texted me when we were leaving the hotel to get on the boat that there was a blizzard in montreal) and missing my cruise. i took west jet last minute. my mum gave me the option of air canada or west jet, and at the last min i decided west jet.
to make a long story short, i got to florida half an hour earlier than the plane was origionally supposed to go in, and just went straight through and out the other end to wait for my shuttle bus. because ive already posted it im not going into details again but being the complete dork that i am i had a 15 min conversation with joe thinking he was just some other (very cute on his part) barenaked ladies fan, until he told me he was in guster. ever since our air port meeting he always remembered me. even at the show in toronto a month after the cruise and again recogizing me in the audience in burlington in october and getting a hug whenever hed see me.
so, the reasoning for posting all that again is that thats my reasoning for trusting fate. if west jet had arrived on time and not early, i would have completely missed joe and i would have met him on the ship just like any other random fan he goes through (though very politely i might add), as well as him making the cruise that much more awesome.
anyway, after starting to watch dead like me, the show all about fate and everything that comes with it last night, of all the days he decides to finally check his facebook last night was it, and he added me back, after sitting in his friend requested folder since literally february when i first got facebook (this is the first time hes been on since).
when i saw that, i just was totally shocked that he finally added me and i just couldnt believe it. something so weird about how the timing works, i just dont think ill ever be able to understand. but i dont care because it makes me happy.:)
i also have some other stuff i have to mention, not regarding joe but i dunno whos reading this (anyone??) and this has already been dragged on long enough. a cookie to anyone whos made it to the end. if anyone actually reads this, ha.
tea time.

Productive on a Saturday

todays been a very productive saturday, for a change. im being a hermit this weekend because its the last chance ill get for well....until next year, literally. so i figured id take advantage of it. i wasnt planning on being so productive, but i got my laundry done last night after work, and i fold it on saturdays. so i got my finger nails cut (i cant stand it having them grow even a tiny bit, they drive me nuts), then made my bed, folded my laundry, and cleaned my floor. now im gonna catch up on e-mails that i didnt reply to yesterday and am talking to my brother. then i gotta clean my computer screen because as its supposed to be white in here while i type...its actually kinda a dusty white. i watch all my dvds on my computer cause its HD (who needs to waste money on hd dvds when everythings hd on my computer?! i beat the system, suckers! :P
so yeah, normally i waste a few hours on facebook, guster, etc. but today i was actually good and got my chores done. im feeling accomplished and just had to share.
im finishing up watching gilmore girls season 7 today. ive got 6 episodes left, then im watching superbad and then dead like me. im exciting, arent i? this is what i do when im a hermit! i need a do nothing weekend.
hope everyones having a good one!

Dreams

i dunno if im the only one who gets this, but every once in a while after someone dies, i get these dreams about them that feel very real. either an actual dream or just a flash of them. its happened a few times. the first time was after my first grandmother died i kept having these dreams that id be at her apartment like we used to but theyd always in the end turn into nightmares because i knew she was gone. the second time was after my cat died, tabby. she used to sleep on my bed all the time and she was the first cat and animal we had in montreal when we moved. there was one night i just had a sudden flash of her and that was it. but it felt so real and i woke up right away. the last time was a few weeks ago. a guy in my class in grade 10 was killed by a train. i just recently had a dream and it was just like he had never gone. even though its nearly 10 years later he still looked exactly the same and was wearing his school uniform. im not sure if im the only one that that happens to but its dreams/nightmares like that that just stick with you forever. i had a recurring nightmare when i was little and scared of snakes that a boa constrictor was strangling me to death too. it would just always be the same way. anyway, not much point to that but i figured its about time i updated with something, and wanted to write an entry for a change that wasn't all about him.