Hope

so, something happened not too long ago that just gave me hope that i might actually get him. i cant say what on here because you never know whos reading, but, it totally made my day and was exactly what i needed. even though it wasnt that much, its a huge difference and i think i might actually have a chance.

Think happy thoughts...

ive been feeling really blah this week. today it went into just plan sad. i hate feeling like this and i have no idea why i even started to. i just cant pull myself out of this.
i should be happy now. ive got my cruise in 23 days and thats going to have my 3 favourite bands there. and joes going to be playing again. not to mention the fact that ill get to see him again....for a whole week. i just cant do it.
i just feel like the people who are supposed to be friends just dont even care if im around or not and apart from a select few (thankfully hes included in that select few....yet that still somehow, doesnt make me feel any better), i just feel so invisible and that no one could care less if i were here or not. and i hate feeling like that and it just brings me down so much that even the things that should make me happy (like yesterdays moment, despite the fact that im still a complete dork with him), didnt.
blah....i just need to curl up into a ball and not exist until my crusise. *sigh*