maybe katie

Ships & Dip III Highlights

2008-02-13T07:52:00.000-08:00

my highlights from the cruise. its a little longer than i expected it to be.sundaygot a good look around the ship then had lunch, right across from ed robertson. then met him later and got our pictures before we even left miami. saw joe from guster on the way to our muster station for the life boat drill. he remembered me like usual and gave a big smile and wave. unfortunately, apart from moments during his shows, thats all we really shared this year, unlike last year.:( katie and i had the alumni show sunday night (we were both ships and dips alumna!), so with the sail away show we had 2 barenaked ladies shows in one day. the alumni show was all request, and they had a bucket on stage they each took turns picking from. someone anonymously put one week in there, and everyone (including the band), booed so they skipped it. later, they pulled out another postcard and the same thing happened. since they already skipped one week, they debated skipping another postcard. in the end, kevin said "fuck it, its in the bucket", and it was played. mondaymanaged to have the courage to make it to another naked photo.first great big sea and guster show. managed to meet all the other gusterrhoids (for those who dont know, thats what brian decided guster fans were to be called) before the show. one of them, alex, being my next door cruise neighbour. went to see boothby, sean cullen, and harland williams after. unfortunately was way too tired to make it to harland. tuesdayplayed with turtles, sting rays (kissed, fed, held, was terrified by), went to hell, in grand cayman. saw carbon leaf on the lido deck and loved them. sean mccaan from grat big sea joined them for hanging johnny. caught a bit of sean from harvey dangers solo set and was pleasantly surprised again. wednesdayplayed with the dolphins (kissed them too) and parrots, took 45min approx to climb dunn river falls. jamaica was scary with the people trying to sell you stuff. they wouldnt give up. it started to rain as we finished the falls and we left after that because it was scary and we didnt want to shop. wednesday was pajama day so we changed after we had lunch back on the ship. katie and i got our naked photo, and as we were heading back to our room to put them there, bunnie was outside leaving a note and alex just came out of his. apparently people were invited to a guster soundcheck and bunnie and alex helped me get in, since i had barenaked ladies as my reason for going on the cruise. so we got front row for the sound check and got an extra show before their set that night (which we took over front row on joes side for). as we were waiting for gusters main show on wednesday night, katie and i were so hyper (thanks to all the guster) that we decided to go run around the track outside on the lido deck, then got ice cream. all in our pjs. then we played cards with jen and alex back in our spots while waiting for harvey danger and guster to start. got a few moments with joe during guster where we were singing along together, one time after he smiled and gave a little nod. after guster i went over to meet katie and jen in the black and red seas lounge and stopped by steven pages vanity project because that was still going. i got to hear their last song, then found katie and jen there too and we waited in line to meet steve. when i got to steve i introduced myself and said "hi, im katie". he said "yeah, i remember you, youre katie from toronto." so i was completely shocked that he remembered me and got a picture with him and he signed my boook. after that, i asked if i could request maybe katie for thursday nights show since my roommate and i are both katies. he said "yeah, sure", and i thanked him for that and for the cruise again, and he thanked us for coming again. then since we were too excited to sleep, katie and i ended up walking all the floors of the ship. we made it down to the 6th by 3am and stopped there. thursdayunfortunately the last full day. cant go wrong when you get to see your 3 faveourite bands plus joe solo all in the same day. my lovely guster group managed to help me get into the guster fan show thursday afternoon so we got front row for that again. i was on adams side this time for the first time ever (im always joes side). then the only time ive ever seen or heard of them switching sides, joe comes over to adams spot for one song, right in front of me. they also had brian live, via satellite which was a nice surprise. after guster we waited in line for joes show so we could get front row again (which we did). his show was nothing less than incredible and had tons of people on stage. that night was great big sea for a bit, then we went over to get to our spots for our main barenaked ladies show. we were second row steves side. about an hour and a bit into the show, i heard the familiar sound of "ill get the metronome", and couldnt believe steve had remembered my request. he looked right over and gave a "this songs for you nod". never in my life would i have thought that not only would steve remember me from 4 or so months ago, but remembered after meeting him at 2.30 in the morning to doing their set list to add maybe katie on for me. and theres a video on youtube where you can see him looking over and giving the nod before the song! after the barenaked ladies show was the all night jam session out on the lido deck. it lasted until 4.30am when we were nearly in miami again. then katie and i decided to stay up the rest of the night because we wouldnt have gotten much sleep otherwise. it seemed like a good idea in theory, but considering how sick i was (i managed to lose my voice that morning too), it probably wasnt the smartest idea. totally worth it though and i dont regret it for a second. as we were sitting out on the lido deck at one point, there werent many of us out there left but kevin was one of them. when he left and went to the elevators he yelled something at me which i still have no idea what he said, all i know is it sounded something like maybe katie. ill never know for sure though. fridayfriday was the sad day we had to get off the ship. we had our last gusterrhoid breakfast though everyone was super sick and barely awake. i left a bit earlier than everyone as i tried to get on the earlier flight. which i managed to do, thankfully.

Hope

2008-01-11T13:03:00.003-08:00

so, something happened not too long ago that just gave me hope that i might actually get him. i cant say what on here because you never know whos reading, but, it totally made my day and was exactly what i needed. even though it wasnt that much, its a huge difference and i think i might actually have a chance.

Think happy thoughts...

2008-01-03T17:22:00.000-08:00

ive been feeling really blah this week. today it went into just plan sad. i hate feeling like this and i have no idea why i even started to. i just cant pull myself out of this.
i should be happy now. ive got my cruise in 23 days and thats going to have my 3 favourite bands there. and joes going to be playing again. not to mention the fact that ill get to see him again....for a whole week. i just cant do it.
i just feel like the people who are supposed to be friends just dont even care if im around or not and apart from a select few (thankfully hes included in that select few....yet that still somehow, doesnt make me feel any better), i just feel so invisible and that no one could care less if i were here or not. and i hate feeling like that and it just brings me down so much that even the things that should make me happy (like yesterdays moment, despite the fact that im still a complete dork with him), didnt.
blah....i just need to curl up into a ball and not exist until my crusise. *sigh*

It's simple, so says the captain

2007-12-14T08:38:00.000-08:00

i wish i had the courage to tell him how i feel...*sigh*

Fate Part 2

2007-12-10T19:53:00.000-08:00

so this weekend was a pretty quiet one for me. i needed it and knew i would because it will be the last one for a while, so i took it while i had it. i caught up on my dvds and cleaning and am now watching dead like me. for the first 2 episodes i was kinda undecided. but then once the 3rd one hit i was hooked and havent been able to stop watching.
it deals a lot with fate and everything that comes with it. how no matter what you do you can stop someones death, etc.
i never was big into fate until i met joe the way i did in florida in january. i flew in on west jet on the day before my cruise to avoid any weather troubles (which i did because my dad texted me when we were leaving the hotel to get on the boat that there was a blizzard in montreal) and missing my cruise. i took west jet last minute. my mum gave me the option of air canada or west jet, and at the last min i decided west jet.
to make a long story short, i got to florida half an hour earlier than the plane was origionally supposed to go in, and just went straight through and out the other end to wait for my shuttle bus. because ive already posted it im not going into details again but being the complete dork that i am i had a 15 min conversation with joe thinking he was just some other (very cute on his part) barenaked ladies fan, until he told me he was in guster. ever since our air port meeting he always remembered me. even at the show in toronto a month after the cruise and again recogizing me in the audience in burlington in october and getting a hug whenever hed see me.
so, the reasoning for posting all that again is that thats my reasoning for trusting fate. if west jet had arrived on time and not early, i would have completely missed joe and i would have met him on the ship just like any other random fan he goes through (though very politely i might add), as well as him making the cruise that much more awesome.
anyway, after starting to watch dead like me, the show all about fate and everything that comes with it last night, of all the days he decides to finally check his facebook last night was it, and he added me back, after sitting in his friend requested folder since literally february when i first got facebook (this is the first time hes been on since).
when i saw that, i just was totally shocked that he finally added me and i just couldnt believe it. something so weird about how the timing works, i just dont think ill ever be able to understand. but i dont care because it makes me happy.:)
i also have some other stuff i have to mention, not regarding joe but i dunno whos reading this (anyone??) and this has already been dragged on long enough. a cookie to anyone whos made it to the end. if anyone actually reads this, ha.
tea time.

Productive on a Saturday

2007-12-08T14:25:00.000-08:00

todays been a very productive saturday, for a change. im being a hermit this weekend because its the last chance ill get for well....until next year, literally. so i figured id take advantage of it. i wasnt planning on being so productive, but i got my laundry done last night after work, and i fold it on saturdays. so i got my finger nails cut (i cant stand it having them grow even a tiny bit, they drive me nuts), then made my bed, folded my laundry, and cleaned my floor. now im gonna catch up on e-mails that i didnt reply to yesterday and am talking to my brother. then i gotta clean my computer screen because as its supposed to be white in here while i type...its actually kinda a dusty white. i watch all my dvds on my computer cause its HD (who needs to waste money on hd dvds when everythings hd on my computer?! i beat the system, suckers! :P
so yeah, normally i waste a few hours on facebook, guster, etc. but today i was actually good and got my chores done. im feeling accomplished and just had to share.
im finishing up watching gilmore girls season 7 today. ive got 6 episodes left, then im watching superbad and then dead like me. im exciting, arent i? this is what i do when im a hermit! i need a do nothing weekend.
hope everyones having a good one!

Dreams

2007-12-05T09:48:00.000-08:00

i dunno if im the only one who gets this, but every once in a while after someone dies, i get these dreams about them that feel very real. either an actual dream or just a flash of them. its happened a few times. the first time was after my first grandmother died i kept having these dreams that id be at her apartment like we used to but theyd always in the end turn into nightmares because i knew she was gone. the second time was after my cat died, tabby. she used to sleep on my bed all the time and she was the first cat and animal we had in montreal when we moved. there was one night i just had a sudden flash of her and that was it. but it felt so real and i woke up right away. the last time was a few weeks ago. a guy in my class in grade 10 was killed by a train. i just recently had a dream and it was just like he had never gone. even though its nearly 10 years later he still looked exactly the same and was wearing his school uniform. im not sure if im the only one that that happens to but its dreams/nightmares like that that just stick with you forever. i had a recurring nightmare when i was little and scared of snakes that a boa constrictor was strangling me to death too. it would just always be the same way. anyway, not much point to that but i figured its about time i updated with something, and wanted to write an entry for a change that wasn't all about him.

Mondays

2007-11-26T07:10:00.001-08:00

so its been a while since ive last updated. not too much new happening, at least, that i can talk about without the possibility of people reading it, ha. not much of a weekend this weekend. i worked saturday as my weekend day. and was here all by myself in the office. it was kinda nice and quiet. i got a bunch of phone calls done so i dont have to do quite so many today and will hopefully have more time to just watch gilmore girls and wait for call backs. i dunno what id do with out that site, id be so freaking bored. but yeah, then i had about 2 hours at home after work then i went out again to go see tin bangs. usual standard show but totally worth going. i just hope they never play that venue again. it creeped me out with all the dolls hanging everywhere. so morbid. the 3 things that scare me and freak me out are needles, clowns, and dolls. sounds crazy, but it is the way it is. so i didnt stay much longer once the show was done. just said goodbye and went home. though the lead singer talked to me which i was a dork and didnt say much, though my ear was completely blocked up so i couldnt hear too well. today ashley and i are going to see the beatles movie help! (working 9.30-6). my mum said she saw it when it originally went in theatres and was good, but weird. from the write up i read on it it looked good so hopefully ill like it. then tomorrows my only semi-quiet night so hopefully ill be able to be home in my pjs and watch house and entourage. wednesday i have to do laundry then thursday foo fighters, VIP style and packing. friday home for the first time in a month. the longest ive gone without going home...EVER. theres a part of me that doesnt want to leave on friday. not that id actually really miss anything since its a quiet weekend here but yeah. im stuck between the 2 cities. once i get comfortable i wont be able to leave montreal either.

Sigh...

2007-11-14T09:56:00.001-08:00

myspace is being really slow right now and i cant be bothered to keep working. im kinda in a mood where i just want to shut people out. i hate the feeling when people you thought were friends just suddenly change and i feel like im being ignored. so when that happens i just tend to push the people that i think dont like me away and ignore them. i hate feeling this way cause it just sucks big time and brings me down. if it wasnt for him and things going so well with him id be so sad.

Wishing...

2007-11-10T15:28:00.000-08:00

i wish, with all my heart, that i could have him. hes perfect.
*sigh*

Lars and the Real Girl

2007-11-07T10:12:00.001-08:00

another day of being bored and waiting to call bands. thankfully i only have one city left to book, though im not looking forward to the motivating part. this weekend was pretty scary. my cat was badly attacked by a raccoon last sunday night and had to have a huge operation on monday. he wasnt leaving my room much and apart from when my dad would take him downstairs he wouldnt go down there. it was getting pretty bad and we werent sure if he was going to get better or worse. then suddenly sunday of this week he woke up and was like a whole new cat. he came downstairs when i was making my lunch before taking the train back to toronto and i dont think ive ever been that happy in my entire life when i saw him downstairs. very thankful hes getting better, just hope he keeps going for a long while. anyway, went to see lars and the real girl last night. it was pretty much one of the greatest movies of all time. its right up there with back to the future, yet a completely different style of movie. ryan gosling is awesome. it must be seen by everyone. the only thing was it made me really i had some one. him, in particular. i hate being alone...anyway, kinda another lonely day. i hate it when you feel like people only talk to you to borrow things. people just suddenly shift and arent the same with you and when i feel like people dont like me anymore, weather they do or not, i just push them away as much as i can.

Invisible?

2007-11-02T09:59:00.000-07:00

so im taking a break from going through votes. ive been stuck on this one damn page for an hour, its never ending. im not exactly in the best of moods today. i feel like ive got an invisibility switch turned on somewhere because im feeling pretty invisible/sad. i hate it when you feel like you have friends you used to do everything with, then they suddenly start talking to other people then just completely ignore you. its kinda hard to feel like talking to them anymore. im supposed to go home tonight to montreal but im really not wanting to do that either. theres something going on this weekend and id get to see the guy i really like and i cant go to it, and i really wish i could. 9 out of the 10 times i talk to him im a complete dork and i like him so much i can barely talk to him or im just super shy whenever hes around. and i try and force myself to talk to him sometimes but its just not always easy. so now im wishing i could go to the thing so id have extra time to talk to him. or at least have the courage to tell him how i feel....what a day...

Lonely

2007-11-01T10:02:00.000-07:00

im pretty bored right now waiting for a decent hour to call. im not complaining though, i love having the quiet wait time in the morning. being in the west is the best, and im loving the new hours. yesterday was halloween so there were some people on the subway in costumes. i saw a really creepy dude with a rubber mask on that covered his entire face, and he had this big giant black hoodie on. he really freaked me out just with how he was and everything. it was like something out of a horror movie with like killer clowns and dolls (both of which scare me, yes, even dolls). i felt like he was gonna pull a gun out or something just with how creepy he was. but luckily, he got off well before my stop. and that was my random halloween moment. now, its all about christmas. ive already seen one store on the way into the subway that is covered in christmas decorations already. they wasted no time once halloween was done. this year has gone by so fast its ridiculous. it seems like it should still be july. i feel like im gonna wake up suddenly and all this year will have been a huge dream. anyway, todays kinda a quiet day. feeling kinda lonely for no reason what so ever. as i was yesterday too, yesterday i was just feeling so lonely and useless for no reason for most of the day. then i just hear from him and just the simplest thing he says just makes everything better again. *sigh* i just wish...

Fate

2007-10-31T07:47:00.000-07:00

at work early today since im heading home on friday, so its gonna be a little bit longer of a day today for me. hopefully i wont have a mass amount of phone calls like yesterday and it will be quiet. im kinda sick of talking to bands right now, haha. so, ive never really been a huge believer in fate or anything like that, until january hit. i met a boy at the airport in fort lauderdale while waiting for our shuttles to take us to our seperate hotels for the first ever ships and dips cruise. i went to stand next to him because i thought he was cute, haha. i had my BNL shirt on and he started talking to me and said "are you going on the cruise?". so then i was talking to him for about 15 min or so all about barenaked ladies. then i asked him what his favourite album was, and he said he actually only had the one with all of them on the cover (gordon). of course as i was talking to him that whole 15 min i didnt even notice his guitar on the side next to him. turns out he was joe, from guster (he then introduced himself). so i felt like a huge dork considering i loved their music yet had no idea who the members were, let alone what they looked like. we still talked for a while after while waiting for our shuttles and then his came.when we saw each other on the cruise for the first time, i was walking over with my friends to his show on the tuesday. he was with brian, the drummer, and brians wife. he said "hi katie" before i even realized it was him. so we chatted for a bit again and kept that going the whole week. to make a long story short, the only way i really met him that way (as a person and not a fan/rockstar), was because my plane was half an hour early. if it was on time, i never would have seen him. so since i met him ive just really been liking him (as a person, dont even care about the guster thing, though nice bonus:P), and hed always give me a big hug when i saw them in TO and recently in burlington. have kept in touch a little through e-mail, etc., and now myspace, but hes not big on the e-mail (he even told me that when i first met him). anyway, to make a long story slightly shorter, i used to really like him but now, and even before, ive been liking someone else more. i think ive liked him for longer than i was willing to admit. i like him so much now that hes always on my mind and i cant stop thinking about him. im such a dork when i talk to him, when i can actually get words out. the days i love the most are when he contacts me first if i dont, and yeah. hes just perfect. and i wish, with all my heart, that i could have him.

12.30-9pm

2007-10-25T10:18:00.000-07:00

another day of 12.30-9pm. ive only done one day and im already hating it.
this stinks.

Bloggy

2007-10-23T13:19:00.000-07:00

im home on a tuesday as my weekend was spent working, and now im just trying to sit down and catch up to time after being so busy for so long.
ive got so much stuff on my mind that i figured this would be a good way to get it out. it will be filled with the good, the sad, and my every day ramblings. i dont know how often ill actually use it but it will be nice to have when needed. so im going to see how long i last with it.
and thats the end of my first post for now just to get it started.